REal Housewives

Friday Five!

Happy Friday!

I hope you all have spectacular plans for this weekend. I look forward to reading about them on Monday (the dreaded day).

Here are five random things I’m loving this week. I’m warning you – most are pop culture related and have no actual relevance in the world.

Ok let’s go!

1. Selena Gomez’s ill-fitting bikini

This bikini is horrible, but Selena’s such a pretty girl, she doesn’t give a fuck. I saw these pictures and immediately thought that Selena, in Mexico on vacation, wanted to go swimming randomly and her friend, who’s probably like, 4 inches shorter and a size smaller was like, “Hey borrow my swimsuit, we’re totally the same size.”

You’ve been there. We’ve all been there. A friend randomly wants to go swimming or in a hot tub and you’re totally unprepared and your friend insists she has a suit for you that will fit, The next thing you know you’re reaching for a towel and your boob pops out in front of everyone.

It happens.

2. Kim Richards arrested for Public Intoxication

There are probably people thinking, “Who was arrested for what?”


Shut up, you guys. This is for people without lives and who love The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and every Real Housewives in North America!

Home girl was arrested for making a scene in a polo lounge. First of all, that’s a pretty classy place to make a scene, so kudos to her for doing it right. It would have been worse had she been at an IHOP or something. So even though, this sucks, she still has more money than me.

Everyone who knows Kim from the RHOBH, knows the star has some addiction issues. This isn’t necessarily my “fave” thing of the week, but I just needed to talk about it, because I have a lot of feelings, zero friends at work, and nothing better to do.

3. Kylie Jenner’s new face on the new Teen Vogue

The littlest Jenner is on the new cover of Teen Vogue which I’m sure was not at all due to Kris Jenner calling in some favors to get the forgotten child some legitimate work.


I can’t hate on this cover. She looks good. And she’s fully clothed. Two things that don’t happen that often in the Kardashian/Jenner world.  Whatever she’s done to her face, I want done to mine. I think money happened. That’s what happens to all rich people. Money = new face.

I’m not sure what’s in store for Kylie but I have a feeling it includes a lot of legal fees.


4. Time Magazine doesn’t want anyone to sleep with Bradley Cooper, ever.

Just look at this picture.


BCoops is a babe, but this picture reminds me that he is in fact, a 40 year old babe. Although still attractive, I feel like his knees crack when he stands up.

I thought this was a picture of Jason Bateman on a bad day. If Coops is single for a while, he can blame this photo.

5.  Gisele Quits the Runway

Bye, Felicia

Thanks for giving me unattainable hair goals. See you in print and on TV which you will no doubt try to conquer.


Sometimes I just get mad at beautiful people.  I get mad at Gisele a lot. I get mad at Tom Brady and Gisele a lot.

Oh well.

Thanks for the insecurities!