Amal Alamuddin

George & Amal : Wedding bells that send commitment-phobes everywhere looking for a new hero

I used to call this section: Pop culture crap I would normally text my friends about, but I’m revamping the title to mix it up.

Yes, George Clooney is a married man. While I would normally go ape over crap like this, I’m just not feeling the same secondhand high I would normally get from a celebrity wedding!

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Source: Just Jared

Look, I love George. He’s hella handsome and part of me likes the fact that whenever I look at him I imagine him close mouthed kissing me like an old timey Hollywood film star. I’m really happy that he married someone who looks like she can give him a run for his money and put him in place. If you’re like me and watch too many romantic comedies you’ll know what I mean when I say she’s the exception to the rule (He’s Just Not That Into You). George swore up and down he’d never get married again. Then bam! Here comes a woman with hair that could rival Kate Middleton and he puts a ring on it. If you listen quietly you can hear women stuck in unhealthy relationships with commitment-phobes thinking,”If Clooney married, he’ll marry me!”

Wrong.

To those ladies I say, “Move on. You ain’t Amal.”

George and Amal look like they’re just a couple of normal, rich, incredibly good looking people. I’m sure neither one of them have a mental illness or burgeoning drug problem, therefore I just look at their cover of People magazine and think, “Nice” and continue looking for more info on Amanda Bynes’ DUI.

Congrats, George and Amal. I wish you an infinite amount of photo-ops where your good looks and love can shine as bright as the sun!

Ladies and Gents,

In case you’re looking for a new commitment-phobe idol here are some new heroes for you to consider

Cameron Diaz

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Cammy doesn’t want to marry or have babies! She’s dated some of Hollywood’s hottest men. She’s officially my pick as the next Clooney.

John Stamos

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Have mercy! I think women (and men) everywhere harbor a secret desire to be near this Greek god- even if it is a little creepy he likes Disney Land so much.

Leonardo DiCaprio  

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When Leo meets his Amal, it’s going to be GAME OVER! Until then, he’ll keep dating every blonde Victorias Secret model in sight

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