#Girlthings

Revenge is mine: Why I (finally) joined a gym

There are three things I fear:

  1. Tornadoes
  2. Unplanned pregnancies
  3. Working out in public

Geographically speaking, I don’t really have to worry about tornadoes because where I live they’re pretty rare, and there’s not a penis willing to have sex with me as far as the eye can see, but working out in public has been a legitimate fear of mine since puberty.

About two weeks ago, after realizing that both my ass and my heart look like they’ve been in a drive-by shooting, I decided that it was time to stop focusing on dating and get in shape.

giphy (14).gif

My Bachelor viewing squad all belong to the same gym, so I thought, what better way to fight your phobia of sweating profusely in public than by standing next to skinny beautiful bitches who will act as camouflage to the fact that you look like you’ve peed your workout tights? #BoxSweat

I’ll admit, part of my fear of joining a gym was because I didn’t know what to wear. I don’t own anything Lululemon based on principle, and I’ve heard how my male friends talk about girls they meet at the gym, so I’m assuming I’ll be judged by both sexes on my attire/body/hyperhidrosis.

It took serious calming down from my friend Sarah to get me to actually attend Saturday morning bootcamp, but I have to admit (and I hate myself for admitting this), it was actually the best decision I’ve made in a long time.

Sure, I should be happy that I’m getting in shape, moving more, blah blah blah getting healthier, but my love of the gym has taken a turn from “focusing on me” to a very dark place.

During my registration, I had a consultation with a trainer about my diet and fitness goals. The first question she asked was relatively simple, “What made you join a gym?”

Revenge.

giphy (15).gif

Do you know how satisfying it is to picture the face of the guy who ghosted you on a medicine ball as you slam it into the ground repeatedly?

I swear, if you didn’t know me, you would think I was Arya Stark, because I’m literally mumbling the names of everyone who I hate as I’m pushing 120lbs on a stupid sled across the floor… Jake, Alex, Geoffrey, The Hound.

giphy (13).gif

 

You should know that I’ve YET to run into an ex after a break-up, but I’m hoping all of that changes once I develop Michelle Obama arms and a thigh gap.

Yes, friends,  I’m building a revenge body because I internalize my feelings and have convinced myself that the reason I’m single is purely physical and not a all because of my personality, timing or circumstances outside of my control.

This is just the beginning of this journey of vengeance. I have 6 weddings to attend, and my trainer wrote them all down on a piece of paper to help motivate me into achieving my fitness goals.

What are those goals?

Revenge

Regret (on their part)

Rue-ing the day they met me. RUE IT.

 

I’m not crazy.

(Ok, maybe just a bit).

 

 

 

The Bachelor: Boring people stay boring, Jojo FTW

The season finale of the Bachelor aired this week on ABC, with Bachelor Ben Higgins proposing to flight attendant, Lauren Bushnell.

Ok. I’ve had a few people ask me how I feel about the results and even though IDGAF, I think Ben made the right choice for his vanilla-christian lite lifestyle. Ben is a babe, don’t get me wrong, but we rarely got to see him make a joke, take off his shirt or do anything without crying. Lauren is beautiful, there’s no doubt about that- she has the Aryan teenage dream, size 2, zero cellulite thing going on. The two had an undeniable missionary position chemistry that Bachelor fans love. I find them boring. I already don’t care about their relationship.

Personally, I was a fan of Jojo, the 24-year old super tanned Isla Fisher doppelganger sporting ombre locks and a Cartier love bracelet (Oh yes, I noticed). Jojo is hot, and I’m going out on a limb here and saying her boobs are fake, but I’m not judging – I’m envying that she has enough money for the love bracelet and the tit job. The thing about Jojo is that she was TOO much for Ben; too sexy, too sweet. With Jojo as the new Bachelorette, I want to see her with a former-athlete type who, I don’t know, rescues dogs and thinks he writes good poetry. Something like that.

430.1x1.jpg

Joelle “Jojo” Fletcher – Source 

The season was, arguably, one of the best in Bachelor franchise history, with several stand out contestants. We had Lace, the Pinot Grigio enthusiast with entitlement issues, who many people thought was the front-runner as the season’s resident villain. In a moment of clarity and self-awareness, Lace excused herself from the Bachelor, saying she needed to work on herself before she could find love. Lil Lace proved to be the smartest one of the bunch when she realized competing with 25 women for the attention of one man is f*cked up and unhealthy.

giphy (10).gif

Then there was Jubilee, the Haitian born sergeant in the US Army, who ruffled feathers with the other contestants by being “awkward” and the self proclaimed “full black” contestant. Jubilee’s presence reintroduced the topic of diversity on the show, and many were hoping Jubilee would become the first black Bachelorette. Jubes was also the victim of some serious girl shit, with several nameless, irrelevant contestants hounding Jubilee for not being a cookie-cutter fake-ass bitch.

giphy (11).gif

Bullying was taken to the NEXT level with Olivia, the slightly delusional Cameron Diaz clone who made enemies right away by receiving the First Impression Rose. Olivia…liked to embellish her connection with Ben. Maybe romanticize the situation a little, and got carried away with her pop culture Teen Mom references. However entertaining her behaviour was for viewers at home, Olivia quickly became the target of internet trolls, and was cut up by all of her fellow cast mates on the Women Tell All for having bad breath and cankles.

giphy (12).gif

Not cool.

I talk a lot of shit on this blog, mostly in jest, but I seriously dislike when people are ganged up on by their peers. I side with the under-dog at all times. Olivia and Jubes- I got chu.

My friends and I gathered every Monday to watch the Bachelor for some girl chat and junk food. For the finale, we went all out! Here are some pictures from our Bachelor Finale viewing party!

BACH

Our amazing t-shirts designed and made by my friend, Olivia!

BACH2

The Monday night squad!

BACH CAKE.jpg

A party without cake is just a meeting

Did you watch the Bachelor finale?

Were you happy with Ben’s pick?

 

Are they going to make it? Let’s chat!

 

 

I know what girls like: 9 Ways to appear more attractive to women

I would be lost without my Flipboard App.

Mostly because then I would have to actually talk to other people instead of looking busy on my phone.

I came across an article the other day that caught my eye, called 17 ways men can appear more attractive to women, published on the Business Insider website.  The article suggests choosing, “someone in your league,” and “wearing a new cologne,” to help attract the ladies.

Since I consider myself to hold a P.H.D in Sociology, Anthropology, Psychology and Cosmetology, I thought I would help a brother out and provide my own list of suggestions to help those with danglers get a P in a V this Valentine’s Day.

Shower. Seriously. 

You would think this would be common knowledge, but unfortunately, I have to put hygiene at the top of my list for ways to appear more attractive to women.

Please, for the love of God, shower at least once or twice a day. Preferably in the morning, before our dates, and after you leave the gym. This is what separates the boys from the men.

Attraction is about pheromones and don’t get me wrong, I love a little bit of man-musk but there’s a difference between “Hot guy with a hint of Irish Spring soap” and
“Hot Guy who I’ll never call again because he smells like aged cheddar.”

giphy (37).gif

If you REALLY want to make us weak in the knees, how’s about a spritz of cologne for the fancy occasions? Just a spritz. I shouldn’t be able to taste you when you walk by me.

Groom Thyself 

If I have to shave my legs, armpits, bikini area, tweeze my eyebrows, wax my upper lip, and unfortunately pluck a stray chin hair, you sure as shit have to at least match me in the level of grooming.

You think I do all this for fun? No. I do this so that you’ll have sex with me.

All bets are off if if  I get close to you and realize you’ve got one eyebrow, a mustache starting from your nostrils and back hair coming out of your shirt to wave hello to me.

giphy (38).gif

Quit focusing so much on shaving your man-brambles. Truth be told it’s kind of terrifying if you’re a complete Yeti and then from the waist down your penis has bangs and is looking at me. We don’t really care, because we don’t want to even SEE it. Seriously. A trim will suffice.

I don’t expect you to take off your shirt and all of a sudden be Channing Tatum, but gimme something. Show you care. That’s all I’m asking.

Change your sheets 

Men who do laundry are attractive. Men who voluntarily wash their sheets are husband material. I like to know that if we’re having adult sleepovers, I’m not rolling around in a month’s worth of your dead skin cells, your ejaculated children, or any other bodily fluid that isn’t the direct result of our wrestling match that day.

Change your sheets once a week. Every week. Seriously.

Wear dark wash jeans 

An independent study conducted by me noted that men who wear dark wash jeans are 100% more attractive than those wearing acid wash or classic light blue denim.

giphy (40).gif

Leave your sneakers at home 

Remember when you were in elementary school and you got a sick new pair of running shoes that you couldn’t wait to wear to school to show your friends? Yeah, well we aren’t in elementary school anymore. Unless we’re at the gym, going for a mild jog, or taking a hip-hop class, put the tennis shoes away. Be a big boy. Diversify your wardrobe.

When women meet a man (if they’re smart) they look for the following:

1. Wedding ring

3. Jeans

4. Shoes

Go home, rent Crazy, Stupid, Love and let Ryan Gosling educate you in the art of style.

giphy (36).gif

Smile 

Just like men are always saying that a woman with resting bitch face is intimidating, a guy wearing a perma-prick face is a red flag.Smiling is an easy way to say to women, “Hey, I might be a serial killer or I might not, but don’t you wanna find out?”

giphy (41).gif

Hold a puppy

Works every time.

Talk to me

Ladies, how many times have you been out, locked eyes with a beautiful stranger, and then NOTHING happens?  Story of my life.

I get that making the first move is scary, trust me, I get rejected ALL the time – but 9/10, people are actually, surprisingly nice!

Take a chance and say, “Hello.” We want you to!

 

Put your phone away 

Not only does being on your phone in public give you a double chin, but it signals to women that you’re mentally somewhere else and presumably talking to someone else who has a vagina. Give your undivided attention to whomever you’re with.

Unless that person is really boring. Then go on Instagram and look at kittens.

giphy (42).gif

Welp, I think I’ve said enough for today. Now I’d like to hear from you!

What do you think a man can do to be more attractive to women?

 

 

 

 

So you’ve realized you’re an online stalker: Welcome to the club

The Huffington Post recently published an article reminding women everywhere, that the grand romantic gestures that happen in movies, don’t always translate in real life.

The article spells it all out for you in the title, Romantic Comedies Teach Women That Stalking is a Compliment, with writer Chloe Angyal reminding us with ovaries, that unless it’s Ryan Gosling writing you a letter every day for  a year, it’s just f*cking creepy.

giphy (31).gif

This article assumed I have no concept of reality , which is sort of true, but made me surprisingly introspective of my own stalker-ish behaviors when it comes to dating. Don’t call the police (again), I’m not referring to Fatal Attraction level boil your bunny, “Why Don’t You Love Me,” type stuff. I’m talking about the little things we do online, to learn about and track the people we’re interested in.

When does it go from social media savvy, to stalking?

It’s fairly common to Facebook the object of your desire, or look them up on Instagram. When you meet someone new, and send the initial invitation to connect on social media, the friend request is the virtual acknowledgement of a burgeoning relationship of some kind; romantic, friendly, or other.

What you do next is what separates you from the rest of the pack.

Personally, I’ll admit that I’m an adorable creep.

When I connect with someone on social media, I unleash research skills that should have already peaked the Canadian government’s interest. I can find out where you went to school, where you work, what you like to do and I’ll begin piecing together an idea of your family, your previous relationships and your own level of social media comfort based on the effort you exhibit to cultivate your online image.

giphy (33).gif

From there, I’ll search tagged photos to see who you socialize with the most versus who comments the most on your photos, rule out that frequent commenter as the friend you only talk to online, find out that your parents are divorced but you’re dad’s re-married to a nice woman named Sheila, Sheila has three kids from a previous relationship, you all seem to get along well and celebrate the holiday’s up North at your cottage, where you once broke your leg skiing .  Of course I won’t admit to any of this and when we hang out casually ask whether or not you’ve ever broken a bone, if you like to ski, or if you have any brothers or sisters. I’ll feign surprise but correct you when you say you broke your leg in 2008.

It was 2007.

If I REALLY like you, I’ll see what events you’re attending and maybe, JUST MAYBE suggest to my friends that we attend, “Just because.”

giphy (34).gif

If we’re chatting and you all of a sudden don’t respond, but two seconds later like a photo on Instagram, I’ll know you’re avoiding me. I’ll know, and do absolutely nothing about it because I refuse to double text, and instead will just sit here and watch what you’re liking online.

This is creepy, right?

Totally creepy, but slightly adorably because I’m just being extra cautious of stranger danger and vetting a potential match before I invest time and effort into getting to know them. Also, the fact that I have zero muscle tone and am inherently lazy automatically makes me a threat to nobody.

Ok. I exaggerated…slightly.

But what’s more likely to happen: Me doing all of this recon before a coffee date, or a man scaling a Ferris Wheel threatening to kill himself unless I go on a date with him?

Firstly, I’d commend his climbing abilities. It’s rare that people show any kind of initiative anymore. Secondly, the fair only comes to this neck of the woods once a year, so his window of opportunity is incredibly small, but I can online lurk 12 months a year, rain or shine, night or day.

I’m really not this weird.

I swear.

giphy (35).gif

 

Happy lurking, Y’all!

Things that make you say, “Nope!” Pt. 2

Today’s post is definitely a direct result of #PeriodProblems that I published on Monday. I’ve passed the threshold of walking with my body at a 45 degree angle to help with cramps and have moved into the, “bitchier and hungrier than usual” phase which will take me through to next week.

Ever see something in the news, on social media and just think, “NOPE!” ?

Me too. All the time.

Here’s what has me shaking my head this week…

People who’ve been married for over a year and are still posting their wedding photos…

NOPE!

The only person who cares to see more photos of your wedding are you and your mom. That’s it. Maybe your Mother-in-Law if she likes you.

giphy (27).gif

Don’t get me wrong, I love weddings and I follow a shit ton of wedding vendors and photographers on Instagram, but if it’s been 3 years and you’re still putting up a profile pic or a TBT to your wedding like it was yesterday, you’re being judged.

By me, God, and probably everyone at Style Me Pretty.

If you want a nice picture, you’re going to to have to wait for someone else’s wedding and get dressed up and snap a photo like the rest of us. Let it go. Your time is up.

Rob Kardashian’s Snapchat handle @robphuckedme…

NOPE!

Really? Reaaaally. What’s happened to you. What are you doing to yourself. You went from the lovable little brother of the Kardashian fam, to the little brother of a friend who I would be afraid to run into in the kitchen at night during a sleepover.

giphy (28).gif

Get it together, man. Stop being weird.

You literally have every opportunity to succeed in front of you and instead you’re being someone people report on Tinder.

Guys who complain that they’re, “Too nice to get a girlfriend…”

NOPE!

Instead of riding the pity train with you, I’m going to throw you under it, Anna Karenina.

I spend all day listening to my male coworkers complain that, “Girls only like assholes and nice guys like us finish last.” Wrong. You’re finishing last because you’re thinking you’re morally superior to your male brethren whilst simultaneously being a dick to the girls that are actually interested in you. There’s someone for everyone. You’re not immune to heartbreak just because your Mom said you were a “good boy.” Pull up your big boy pants, take a hard look at yourself in the mirror and go forth into the battlefield with a different mindset.

giphy (29).gif

If you’re having a hard time figuring out what’s actually wrong with you, come to my cubicle and I’ll tell you.

People who say Grease: Live! was bad…

NOPE!

Grease: Live was fantastic.

giphy (30).gif

Was it better than the movie? No.

Was it well done for being a television production 38 years after the movie was released? Yes.

We get it, you loved the movie. We all loved the movie. We all loved when John Travolta was hot and possibly straight. You know what I love more? A new generation of kids being introduced to Grease.

Sure, the kids didn’t get to learn that Grease Lightnin’ was a real pussywagon, but still. They’re going to learn the songs and want to watch the movie because they thought the live production was cool shit.

So you have two options: Either singalong or bite the weenie, Rizz!

 

 

 

 

 

 

#PeriodProblems: Reasons I’m crying

There are some people who are grossed out when I talk about menstruation. Those people usually have penises. It’s not that I think the female reproductive system is a beautiful thing, I’m really just  looking for any and every opportunity to commiserate with my fellow egg baskets over our monthly massacres.

This morning I woke up with a week early monthly guest and a horrible nosebleed. I just tilted my head back, looked to the heavens and let everything just flow south. The only plus side to this unexpected horror, was that my best friend and I have synched our cycles, which I’m hoping means we can FINALLY fight crime and make others shed blood instead of shedding our own.

The whole thing seems very Wiccan to me. I kind of dig it.

Until then, I’ll be sitting in pajama pants, clutching my pooch, waiting the week out so I can stop crying randomly at anything and everything.

What makes me cry during my period?

Day 1: Getting my period

*Tears of Joy*

giphy (15).gif

Day 2: Catching a glimpse of my bloated self in the mirror and wondering, “Hmm, this is what I would look like at 4 months pregnant.” Then hyperventilating because you can’t imagine yourself ever being ready for motherhood

giphy (16).gif

Day 2: Afternoon

Crying because you’re worried, that if you ultimately do want kids, what if you later discover you’re infertile, and then you’ve just got your period to waste tampons and good underpants on a monthly reminder of what you can’t have.

giphy (17).gif

Day 2: Evening

Crying because you’ll get to adopt a kid and keep shit right down there.

*Tears of joy*

giphy (18).gif

Day 3: Watching old Hollywood movies and crying because everyone in the movie is probably dead

giphy (19).gif

Day 4: Checking online dating profiles and crying because you’re online dating

giphy (20).gif

Day 4: 10 mins later

Crying because you’re worried nobody will love the guys you’re swiping left to. SOMEONE SHOULD LOVE THEM!

tumblr_ns81gdS9h81ubccfwo7_500.gif

(Just not me. Never me)

Day 5: Seeing an old person take their dog on a walk. The dog’s wearing a coat and little booties.

tumblr_m8a0s3P46a1qlh1s6o1_400.gif

 

Day 6: Adele.

giphy (22).gif

Day 7:

Happily skipping out the door without a feminine product only to find that your body is a traitor and released a last wave of assault to remind you that you should never, ever, think you understand your body.

(Oh yes, Girls. Some of us are full week-ers)

giphy (23).gif

Day 8: PTSD

You only have 21 days before you have to relive the carnage.

giphy (24).gif

 

Brb. Gotta go eat some cookies.

 

 

Blogmas Day 17: Dear Santa or Satan, whoever gets this letter first…

Dear Santa,

Long time no talk. I hope you’re staying diabetes free, because it would be really hard to go down all those chimneys with prosthetic legs. Stay active, stay healthy, stay humble. That’s the motto.

2015 has been an off year.Nay, a year of personal development #perspective. I’m not interested in gifts this year, but I decided why not make a pretend wish list just for the sake of wishing?

Santa, as you know, I’m an olfactory driven female. Since I was a little sprout, I’ve been sensitive to smell, and it’s been a hindrance to many relationships.  This Christmas, please send bottles and bottles of Modern Muse by Estée Lauder for me…

el_sku_YF3101_558x768_0.jpg

Just follow your nose!

…and Bleu De Chanel for any and every male I ever come into contact with. I’ll leave a bottle at my desk and just spray my coworkers if they get within 3 feet of me.  I’ll even spray it on my pillow or clothes so people think I’ve been getting some action. I don’t care. Just deliver this by the case load.

Bleu de Chanel – Woodsy, blended with citrus notes. I’ve literally recognized this scent on a stranger and smelled him in public. With my eyes closed.

S107480_XLARGE.jpg

 

Speaking of men, Santa… Please send me 1 Sand Pit ticket to see Sam Hunt in Pittsburgh on July 2nd, 2016. As you know, the fates royally f*cked me this summer when that PYT on the train drank herself into a stupor and caused me (and countless others) to miss his entire set.

I’m not angry, Santa. I’m bound and determined for vengeance.

giphy (27).gif

I realize you aren’t God, but if you have any connections to God, or know someone who knows him in the realm of magic and make-believe, please tell him or her about my plight. I’m going to die someday, this might as well be my Make -A-Wish.

 

This next one might be a stretch, but if you could send me the ability to pull off dirty blonde or ‘bronde’ hair, I would be eternally grateful.

You see, Santa,  I’m just a basic bitch looking for a good hair cape, a good man, and an unlimited supply of mascara. I really feel like this ethnically ambiguous Pocahontas look of mine is so 2015.

Please work your magic and help me pull off this new look. Do it for the kids, Santa.

tumblr_nf9bbtutbR1sg71zno1_500.jpg

Jessie James Decker, obvz.

I know I’m asking a lot Santa, but if you could also find a home for every stray animal on the planet, that would be great. I can house as many kittens as hygienically possible, just throw ’em on down my chimney and I’ll wake up to a pile of happiness.

giphy (28).gif

 

I’ll be sure to leave you some low-fat, low calorie alternatives this Christmas Eve.

Merry Christmas, old fella!

xoxo

Lib

 

 

 

Blogmas Day 10: Love, Actually? Love, Kinda

I’m very 2015 when it comes to romance, meaning my standards are pretty low. Taking me someplace that offers unlimited refills on Diet Pepsi is essentially the real life equivalent of meeting me at the top of the Empire State Building at midnight on Valentine’s Day. In a world of late night booty calls and unwanted dick pics, I consider a guy to be a ‘gentleman’ if he uses proper grammar and remains fully clothed throughout our date.

giphy (12).gif

 

However, at Christmas, my expectations take a sleigh ride to the next level.

The fact that there’s an entire holiday celebrating a virgin becoming pregnant without having sex makes me believe that  at Christmas, anything is possible. This includes the possibility that your crush will magically appear at your doorstep on Christmas Eve to proclaim his or her undying love.

The year’s winding down, the romantic comedies are airing on Lifetime and the W Network, Mariah Carey is still singing at that pitch only the neighbourhood dogs can hear, and all of a sudden, you’re fantasizing about PG, first base, over the shirt stuff.

This is my first Christmas as a single lady in a few years, and I’m happy with my relationship status. It’s my choice to be solo right now, and do the ol’ personal inventory and figure out what I’m looking for.

giphy (11)

That being said, I’ve still got this secret desire that I’ll be wearing my cowl neck cream coloured holiday sweater, I’ll have finally learned how to contour my nose, I’ll be just about to crack open a bottle of wine and break my sobriety-ish vow when there will be a knock at the front door.  I answer the door to see snow gently falling and an out of breath Stud wearing a turtleneck, but I’ll let it go because it’s Christmas and I can’t be picky right now.

I’ll feign surprise, “What’re you doing here! My word!”

Then he’ll say, “My car broke down so I ran here.”

Aw, he has a car. But it’s broken. Regardless, I’ll be batting my eyelashes, “Studly, what’s going on?”

And then bam, he hits you with the good moves…and all of a sudden….

giphy (4).gif

 

But he verbalizes it. Says it out loud, like an articulate, emotionally available winner.

Then he’ll tell me that he was in a dark place on a bridge, and an angel will appear and show him what life would have been like if he had never been born. I’ll say this all sounds terribly familiar, but I’ll encourage him to keep going, because this is disrupting my quiet evening at home with mother #GreyGardens.

giphy (6).gif

He’ll say the angel said that if he was never born, I would be home alone on Christmas Eve with two men trying to rob my house and nobody would be there to save me.

tumblr_lvhede5snl1qi1aino1_r1_400.gif

That’s when he realized he would be heartbroken if I died, because he’s been in love with me from the moment we met and it’s OK that I cuss like a sailor, can’t cook to save my life, and am probably never going to make my target weight.

giphy (5).gif

Then he’ll dip me dramatically and kiss me, and we’ll live happily ever after or for at least two years because that’s my track record.

Totally possible, right?

RIGHT?

 

Am I the only one who feels this way, or do you find the holidays incredibly romantic as well?

 

Blogmas Day 2: The Saviour is Born

It’s Britney Jean Spears Day!

If you own an Advent Calendar, just eat the entire 24 days left in one sitting because today is REALLY the day that we were blessed with a deity.

Today our Lord and Saviour turns 34, and will no doubt be celebrating in style without a bra, velour track pants and some kind of cheese bi-product snack. I hope Starbucks treats the Queen to something frappy and free!

giphy (21).gif

For the past 8 years, my adoptive sister and I have been celebrating the ups and downs of Brit-Brit’s life. Like most girls who were born in the mid to late 80’s, no one even comes CLOSE to the level of superstardom as Britney J. Spears (formerly Federline).

Nobody.

Beyoncé is close, but I dare say she’s not as likable as Brit.

Britney’s like your best friend from elementary school who kind of went crazy for a little bit after college but got her shit together and has that little glimmer of her former self in her eye. The dark side of Britney, and the fact that we still DON’T really know what happened or what that time of her life was like is what makes her so intriguing.

giphy (23).gif

She essentially rose from the dead and is back to forgive you for abandoning her during her time of need.

Sound familiar?

By now Brit’s hair as grown back, she’s got her post baby bod on lock since the kids are practically preteens now; all that’s left to do is get her love life in order.

Brit needs a good man. One that’s not using her for fame, and doesn’t mind the days she goes make-up free to Target.

I have faith that this will happen, because I believe in Britney.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BRITNEY JEAN!

giphy (22)

 

 

Surviving the holidays with an eating disorder: Advice from a former anorexic

This week, I’ve seen a number of articles circulating the internet with tips to help navigate/survive the holidays when you have an eating disorder. This particular topic struck a chord with me, having struggled with both anorexia and bulimia since I was nine years old.

Living with an eating disorder was and still is emotionally exhausting. Although I’m older and living in recovery, I remember all too well being in constant fear of gaining weight, and trying to suppress hunger on a minute to minute basis.
Although every day with an eating disorder was difficult, it became increasingly hard to manage my fear and anxiety during the holidays. I followed a strict and punishing diet, and at the height of my illness, the idea of being around food or even watching other people eating was terrifying for me. I would often decline invitations to family dinners or parties with friends to avoid straying from my routine and leaving the safety of my house.
2110207_orig.jpg
At Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner, my appearance and eating habits were often a topic of discussion. In an Italian family, it was an insult not to eat the food prepared for you. I would sit with my family, and try to deflect their pleas for me to eat something. At one point during my eating disorder, if I did give in to their coaxing, I would begin to binge. I’d eat plate after plate of food, and then excuse myself and go to the bathroom to purge. I’d come back to the table, help myself to dessert, and continue the cycle for the rest of the night. There would be times a family member would try to stop me from going to the bathroom and plead with me, “not to ruin the holiday.”
With the holiday season approaching, I thought I would compile a list of helpful suggestions based on my own experience to help people suffering from eating disorders and their families manage the holidays.

(more…)