David Beckham: Sexiest Man Alive?

It’s the most wonderful time of the year!

People Magazine celebrated 30 years of objectifying men (hallelujah) by naming David Beckham the Sexiest Man Alive.

Grab a tea, eat some cookies and let’s have some real talk about this.

Okay.

David Beckham is  certifiably hot. No one will argue that. He’s got the smoldering look, can pull off any hairstyle he wants, and his body is lean muscle, not the overwhelming “I can’t cuddle this brick wall” muscle.

Personally, David Beckham does nothing for me. I get it, but from the belly button down, I’m epidural numb without the cervical dilation. I’m more of a tall dark and handsome type girl (which I will discuss later).

I think the selling feature for David Beckham to a lot of women is that he’s aesthetically good looking, has an Achilles heel with his high pitched voice (kind of like Timberlake- people like an imperfect man), and David is first and foremost a family man.

These days you never see photos of Beckham without a kid or with a shirt. It’s either or.

No kid? Shirts off.

With one of his brood? Fully clothed.

People respect that.

I respect that.

 

I rarely agree with People Magazine’s selection for SMA, so I’m a bit disappointed that one of my favorites wasn’t given the title.

If you’ve read my blog before, you know I go positively middle school when talking about male celebrities. Which is sad, but that’s really all I have: My unsolicited opinion and my cat.

So, that being said – here are my picks for Sexiest Man Alive…

3. Eric Decker

Tall – Check

Dark- Check

Handsome – Check, Check, Check!

Decker plays for the New York Jets, but don’t ask me what position. I don’t give a rat’s ass about football. All I know is Decker is genetically gifted, and like David, a family man. This father of two is married to Jessie James Decker, my imaginary squad member.

My sister Marie and I use Eric Decker as the benchmark for all men. Whenever I’m talking about guys or possibly dating someone, she always asks whether they’re “Decker material.” If they aren’t we move along.

2. Sam Hunt

Tall – Check

Dark- Check

Handsome – Check, Check, Check!

I’ve chronicled our torrid love affair for the past year, and how one drunk 17 year old thwarted my plans to see Sam in concert, after I paid an obscene amount of money to be front row.

I WILL seek vengeance.

Anyways.

Hunt is a Southern boy, country singer-songwriter with quarterback good looks. He’s got that “Aw-shucks, I go to Church, love my Mama, but won’t hesitate to take you up against this here wall.”

Amen, Sam Hunt. Amen.

1. Jake Gyllenhaal

Tall -Check

Dark – Check

Handsome – Check, Check, Check,

Bonus points : Blue eyes

Oh, Jake. You are a living, breathing, Prince Eric from the Little Mermaid, and that’s why I love you – because Disney conditioned me to!

Funny, humble and sometimes eerily dark, Jake is the blue ribbon winner in this dog show called life.

I could go on, and on, but then I think no one would ever date me, and my friends would have me committed. I’m literally one cat away from being locked up American Horror Story Asylum style. Which wouldn’t be so bad, I could use the vacation and some quality “Me” time, but anyways.

 

What do you think about People’s choice?

Who would be YOUR choice for Sexiest Man Alive?

 

Special Edit:

This is the 200th post on Honestly, Libby!

162834-Oscars-McConaughy-alright-alri-pVL8.gif

So many people to thank. Oprah (my deity of choice) – all things are possible through you!

My mom, for always telling me that my writing is too crass, because that means I’m doing something right.

To my friends who read the blog and feed my ego by making me feel like I’m actually good at something, I love you!

Thanks to everyone in the WordPress world for being so great! I really do cherish my WP friendships.

CHEERS!

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11 comments

  1. Yay for objectifying men! *whoot

    I do agree that David Beckham is attractive but, like you, I love tall, dark-haired handsome men. You’re so right with Jake Gyllenhaal, though: he would make the perfect Prince Eric!

    …and congratd on your 200th post. Another blogger I know just recently celebrated a post milestone, and I have just hit my 500th post! Here’s to the next milestone!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you. Yes, I am relatively far from Paris, but still…the whole nation is mourning, as well as on lock-down. Scary, but doing my best to stay safe!

        Like

  2. soooo much love for this post!
    first, posh and becks have been my favorite Hollywood power couple for a long time now so my little heart grows three sizes to see him on the cover. Also, I’m sorry but Bradley Cooper and Matthew McConaughey just don’t do it for me.
    Second, I love your description of Sam Hunt. And that picture – YAS.
    Third, Congrats on 200!
    I might put up my picks for SMA later. Watch out for it so we can discuss them like the 28 year old middle school girls that we are (or at least I think I am)!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. OMG once I went to the pharmacy in search of a magazine with God knows who on the cover (probably Leonardo DiCaprio, tbh. It was a while ago) and I asked the clerk if they had it “even with the cover ripped off because, you know, there’s pictures on the inside too.” 😒 I don’t know how my parents let me out of the house.

        Like

  3. Loveeeeee your choices, but mine would definitely be Ed Westwick this year. He has blown me away, even though GG really ended years ago, it just ended for me…and took my heart with it. And btw. A gay guy once told my husband he looked like Jake G in a bathroom at a bar, and my husband has held on to that for years. He will not let it go. PS: He looks nothing like him. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

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