Today’s Menu: Neck beard, sweat, and feelings

Happy Monday, y’all.

I started this day like most Mondays: making the Sophie’s Choice between doing my hair or my makeup because I woke up late for work and hiding in the office kitchenette with a pair of scissors contemplating an “accident” to score me the day off of work.

God has a plan, kids. He knows what we need on a Monday…and He is good.

Because the big man or woman (let’s be real) upstairs sent us a gift on this fine October Monday:

The new Sam Hunt music video “Break Up In a Small Town.”

Watch here, and let’s talk.

I think we should all appreciate the artistry of this video. Obviously the burning house is a metaphor for my loins.  It was like the Eminem Love The Way You Lie video but way hotter. Eminem would need like SEVEN Megan Fox’s and a shit ton more upper body work to compete with this video.

Confession:

I’m a beard-slut. My friends all know it. I’ve embraced it. It’s a fact that I love a good beard. But today, I laid eyes on the best/worst neck beard of all time. You just know that his neck beard smelled like sweat, AXE body spray, and for whatever reason, paprika.

I am healed.

I’ve been so stressed out, so inside my own head I thought my lady oven was just an easy-bake with a rinky dink light bulb taking like, 14 hours to warm up the whole egg factory. It turns out, I just lacked neck beard this entire time!

Alright. I digress. This post wasn’t even planned (obviously). I’ll be back later this week once I’ve had several cold showers.

Have a great day!!!

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