Bad touch: Why Lululemon’s new fit is giving me all kinds of the wiggins

Let’s start this post by getting one thing out of the way:

I don’t own anything by Lululemon, nor do I participate in extracurricular activities that would warrant me to spend an obscene amount of money on active wear.

It’s overpriced and it’s against everything I believe in (physical health and fitness) .

That being said…

I stumbled across a post on Jezebel today about a new line of clothing by the yoga inspired brand, called Sensation Innovation. The line of active wear is intended to offer you a different fit of clothing, ranging from tight, naked, relaxed, held-in, and finally the one that creeps me out the most, hugged.

That’s right, hugged.  The brand’s website says,

We engineer our Hugged Sensation to feel like a comfortable embrace from a close friend. These classic styles provide a consistent compression experience throughout a range of tight-fitting silhouettes to keep you feeling poised and balanced throughout your workout (and, let’s be real, your day).

giphy

The absolute best part is the fact they stipulated that the hug was from a close friend.

Not a bear hug from a frat boy

Not a bad touch from a hands-y uncle

Not a one-two-three- pat on the back from a friend with intimacy issues

Not even a limp-noodle hug or side hug from one of the Duggars.

Nope, you slip these pants on and you’ll automatically feel like your best friend is hugging your ass, keeping it up and tight and like it had a shoulder to cry on, if asses could cry (which they might after a night of chicken vindaloo).

giphy

HOW IS THIS A THING?!?!

Personally, there are two types clothing I wear: I like my pants to cut off the circulation to my lower limbs and keep my cheese hidden from the world and I like my tops to hide my inevitable food baby after I take so much as a sip of tea.

That’s it. Flowy tops, skinny pants.  I’ve never thought about wanting to feel like my midsection or leggings are giving me a friendly, supportive squeeze or wanted to feel like I’m not wearing clothes at all.

Always clothes, ok?

Is this what happens when you take up yoga? You automatically have a ridiculously large expendable income on friendly pat on the back pants?

Do you own anything by Lululemon?

Tell me what you think. Is it just me being weirded out by the wording, or are you getting the wiggins as well?

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15 comments

  1. I own one Lululemon hoodie . . . But, let me frank: I did not purchase it. It was a gift. A very tight gift. A very warm, tight gift. Trying to zip the damn thing up is a workout within itself, but once I’m in, I feel . . . hugged. Did you cringe? I’m sorry (but not really) 🙂

    To end with a pro, it’s a very warm and slimming hoodie. The end.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I own lululemon knockoff gym stuff haha so it was like $12 for a shirt instead of $963685896 . What the hugged??????? Such an interesting name for a type of clothing! Def wigged over here 😉 I’ll just stick to my cheap knockoffs and target gym clothes over here.
    xo, Candace | Lovely Little Rants

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Targeting people who need emotional support and crazy overpriced. I don’t Lulu. Ever. More disturbingly, I think I have learned I am uncomfortable with intimacy as I often do that 1-2-3 pat on the back…OMG!!! Should I pay the therapist or buy the hugging pants…IDK?!

    Liked by 1 person

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