Does anyone even watch awards shows anymore? I don’t. I live for red carpets and die a small death when it comes to awards shows. If it’s not hosted by Tina or Amy, GTFO.
That being said, let’s start our week off right: With some pretty dresses!
The scale: I’m judging based on vodka soda’s. This is my go-to drink otherwise known as a “Skinny Bitch”.
The BEST dressed of the night will get the holy grail of 5 Vodka Soda’s out of 5. That’s as many drinks it takes for me to think I’m Kim Kardashian.
Here we go!
Here are my picks for best dressed on the Emmy red carpet:
Naomi Watts wearing Dior Haute Couture
Oh, Naomi. It’s so true about wanting what you can’t have. Even though I’m an olive skinned Mowgli Jungle Book lookalike, I go nuts over fair haired light skinned beauties like Naomi Watts. Her Dior looked fresh, pretty and glamorous amongst the dark hues and the long dresses on the red carpet.
I love, love, love the length of this dress. It’s youthful and weather appropriate (I see you, California temperatures).
Naomi loses points for her messy hair. I would have loved to have seen her hair down or slicked back. Never tendrils. Never.
Lady Gaga wearing Brandon Maxwell
I measure my life in black dresses, which is why I was losing my shit when Gaga appeared on the red carpet looking like a bona fide movie star (among TV stars). I also love that Gaga wore a dress designed by her real life BFF, Brandon Maxwell. If you’re an Instagram stalker and you legit think that Gaga’s your best friend (like I do) then you know last week the singer played assistant to her friend during New York Fashion Week, working behind the scenes to make his show a success.
I love that Gaga’s keeping it simple with the hair and make-up, but I’m taking one Vodka Soda away because I would have loved a really great bracelet or just a little more bling.
Taylor Schilling wearing Stella McCartney
I may loathe Piper on Orange is the New Black, but I adore Taylor Schilling on the red carpet. Yellow seemed to be a popular colour last night, but in my humble/basic bitch opinion, nobody wore it better than Taylor!
The hair, the lip, the interesting neckline? I’m foaming at the mouth.
I’m taking away half a vodka soda because I want the dress to be a smidgeon longer, but I’m giving her look 4.5 vodka soda’s out of 5.
Kerry Washington wearing Marc Jacobs
I am not mad at this sexy Joan of Arc look she’s serving on the red carpet. I love the length, that it’s not overly feminine and that it’s got a 3/4 sleeve. Y’all know I LOVE A 3/4 SLEEVE! Kerry stood out in a sea of floor length gowns (or not so floor length, amirite Taylor?)
I’m giving Kerry 5/5 Vodka Sodas! We have a Winner!
Those are my picks for the Best Dressed! Who were you loving?
Tell me in the comments below!