Throwback Thursday: Pop Princess edition

My first throwback post counted down the top heartthrobs of the 90s. It was Tiger Beat magazine’s hall of fame; Leo, Nick Carter, Taylor Hanson.

However much I may I have obsessed over these blond haired prepubescent babes, I argue that it was the women of the 90’s that shaped me into the person I’ve become  (blame them, it’s their fault).

The Pop Princesses taught us how to shimmy and shake, to believe in Girl Power and to NEVER underestimate the power of a coordinated outfit with your bestie.

Here we go, the top 5 Pop Princesses of the 90’s/2000’s !

5. Destiny’s Child

Beyoncé is a legend. We know this. So, why did I rank the vehicle that shot Bey to superstardom at number five?

Because these couldn’t get their shit straight and kept changing group members!

I don’t blame the members of DC’s past for bailing on the group- it’s got to be hard to live in Beyoncé’s bedazzled shadow.

We had Latoya, Farrah…someone else… I forget who else. The point is, they fell into nothingness (everything that’s not on my radar).

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These were simpler times. When Beyoncé ate Popeye’s, Tina Knowles designed each outfit, and Kelly had those god awful red highlights. THE WAY WE WERE!

Beyoncé and Kelly taught us that family is not always related to you by blood, and that real friends support you and let you have the spotlight.

4. Mandy Moore / Jessica Simpson (Tie)

Both were modestly talented, both tried their hardest to have a pop hit that topped the charts. Both made a chunk of their money doing other things besides pop music.

Mandy will forever be known as the girl who died in that one movie.

Jessica will be known for boobs, terrifying calf muscles and for taking the role of dumb blonde to the BANK.

Can you name two Mandy Moore songs?

Can you name ONE song by Jessica Simpson?

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Didn’t think so. But we loved them. We loved them for trying their damnedest to make a mark.

3. Christina Aguilera

Arguably, the most talented vocalist of our time (Shhhh Beyoncé, you still sell more records), Christina Aguilera was part of the polarizing question you asked your friends/boys you liked in class:

Are you a Britney or Christina?

Both were petite blonde former Mickey Mouse Club members, both released hit after hit, but Christina NEVER quite captured the hearts of young girls like her competitors did.

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I liken Christina to that hot girl at a party who only cares if guys are watching her and if girls want to be her. She wasn’t really the one playing innocent or hard to get. She was always Dirrty.

Still, I’m always going to love Christina for her MTV Diary when she was making her album Stripped. Anyone remember this show?  The tagline was….

“You think you know, but you have no idea….” it was a docuseries on MTV’s biggest celebs.

Xtina’s episode was the first time you saw her family, learned about her difficult upbringing and got to relate to the songstress (at least I did). It humanized her, and let us see a softer side of the singer.

We love you, Xtina!

2. The Spice Girls

The Fab Five. They were unstoppable in the 90’s. They were campy and colourful and made us all want to wear platforms, pig tails and the Union Jack.

I feel bad for this generation of young girls for not having a version of the Spice Girls. Sure, they were a LITTLE oversexed, but they knew their prime demographic was tweens and um…their dads.

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My friends and I fought every recess over who got to be Baby, Posh, Scary, Ginger or Sporty. We danced, we sang, we karate kicked and yelled Girl Power at the top of our lungs.

Then….we were all devastated when Ginger Spice left the group. It was just another life lesson…. Dem’s the breaks, kids.

NEXT!

1. It’s Britney, bitch!

Was there ever a doubt that Britney Spears would be number one on this list?

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Britney was like a little show pony for Pop music. She pranced, gyrated, and flashed her abs and somehow both men AND women loved every minute of it.

As a kid I used to rent Britney Spears DVD’s and do crunches in front of the TV. Unhealthy? Yes. But BritBrit had a body that wouldn’t quit…until it did quit. But I won’t talk about those dark times here.

Crazy?

Oops I did it again?

Slave 4 U?

Me Against the Music?

CIRCUS?!?!?

ALL GOLD.

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Britney, although pushing the boundaries performance wise (raunchy!), had a likeability about her that Christina lacked. Sure she made out with Madonna onstage and teased men with the idea that she MIGHT not be a virgin, but at the end of the day she was a country bumpkin white trash child star from Kentwood, Louisiana with a  million dollar smile.

Oh, Brit.

I think it says something about a celebrity when people genuinely wish them the best.

Lindsay Lohan? Whatever.

Paris Hilton? Whatever

Britney? LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!

She was and always will be the brightest star in the Pop universe.

I love you, Brit Brit.

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4 comments

  1. I really can’t name ONE song by either jessica or Mandy. OH MY GOD. You’re so right!

    I personally like Christiana better than Brit in terms of singing but yes Britney is far more likeable!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Although I grew up when these 90’s pop princesses were going out of fashion, I still remember their ubiquity on the radio (definitely still remember hearing a Britney Spears’ song here and there, as well as Destiny Child’s “Survivor.” But a Mandy Moore song? Nope.).

    Good read! Brings out the nostalgia in people, eh? Care to try a throwback to the boy bands and singers? 😉

    Liked by 1 person

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