Only four more days until one of my best friends in the entire universe ties the knot!
I can’t wait.
For all y’all who are thinking, “Gee, she sure has a lot of best friends.” I’ll point to this picture of Taylor Swift at the VMA’s and I urge you to recant yourself.
My speech is written, I’ve got Thursday and Friday off to help with wedding prep and then the big day will be upon us.
If you’re at all interested in the DIY wedding of the year, follow the hashtag #WeddinBellsBeRingin for pictures!
So, ok. This post will be a jumble but let’s get down to it.
The VMA’s. There was a time when I cared about the MTV Video Music Awards. A simpler time. A time long, long ago when a celebrity flashing boob or having a nervous breakdown was exciting, like being at the zoo. Those were the good old days. When Britney performed with snakes, made out with Madonna and stumbled along to the choreography for her “comeback.” I’m aging myself. But tough tits. I miss those days.
I didn’t watch this year’s “awards show” because as I’ve said in previous posts, I’ve got better shit to do. I did however, watch the music video premiere of Taylor Swift’s latest single, Wildest Dreams, which in my humble opinion, is the best song on the album!
The video did not disappoint. Ok,maybe her wig did a LITTLE bit, but anything with Scott Eastwood is A-OK in my books.
Did you watch? Did you swoon? Did you immediately wish they recreated the scene in Out of Africa where Robert Redford washes Meryl Streep’s hair? Does anyone have any clue what I’m talking about or who Robert Redford is?
Apparently, Kanye went on a tear and announced he was running for President in 2020. This, I hope, was a call to action for the American people, to completely ignore Kanye once and for all instead of solidifying yourselves as the laughing stock of the world.
I mean, you’re already close with your gun control laws, Donald Trump running for President and your healthcare system, but this would be TOO far (what should have been too far is everything I’ve just mentioned, but whatever you don’t seem to care).
After last week’s tragedy that resulted in the murders of two Virginian newscasters while live on air, I’m feeling disappointed with your country. I feel as though I’m constantly defending the United States like an abusive boyfriend, but it’s getting so bad that even I can’t use Sonic, Ulta or your delightful patriotism to defend your honour.
Shaking my head. Shaking my head, hard.
Get it together.
Taylor Swift and her squad aren’t the Sailor Scouts, they’re not here to save you. I know you’re probably confused because they’re all super tall and pretty and strike weird poses, but their job is to entertain you to distract you from what’s really going on in your world. Sure, Sailor Moon or the Avengers are probably the only people that could save you right now, but I believe in you!
If unnecessary, senseless and preventable deaths won’t shake the consciousness of your country, use the prospect of Kanye West as your President as the wake up call you desperately need.