Month: July 2015

The Friday Five: The 5 Songs to Stay Away From When You’re Sad

I know, I know. It’s the Friday before a long weekend and here I am brining you down. Or…maybe I’m just asking you to move over and joining you in life below emotional sea-level.

I’ve had a shitty week. My dog’s been in the hospital and my heart’s been through a blender. I’ve been lucky that my friends have rallied around me to help me occupy my time, but when left alone… I turn to sad songs.

Today I messaged my best friends and told them that I was either hitting a new emotional threshold or getting my period because an acoustic version of Katy Perry’s Firework made me cry.

My one friend said I was just like a plastic bag, drifting through the wind.

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My other bestie said that anything acoustic has no place when dealing with a broken heart.

They’re right. But I’m a rebel and a glutton for punishment. That’s why I’m sharing with you the 5 songs you should stay away from when you’re sad…

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Let’s Discuss – Swimsuits as bodysuits

On this morning’s blog roll, I came across a post from People StyleWatch about the new celebrity trend of wearing a one piece swimsuit as a bodysuit.

Seriously.

Here’s the thing. I grew up in the 90’s when it was trendy to wear bodysuits with jeans. They had little snaps at the crotch, similar to a baby’s onesie for easy access TO PEE (pervert). I had all different colours and patterns but I was also seven years old and flat as a board.

I look at this trend and think two things:

1. If I had to pee, do I have to get completely naked or just pull away the suit to the side like real lady like?

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The Bachelorette – Finally, Finale

Finally, this season is over.

Mama mia. I thought it would never end. I’m a huge fan of the Bachelor franchise but I was getting a little tired/uncomfortable/fed up with the slut shaming, name calling, and d*ck measuring contest of this season!

Last night, Kaitlyn Bristowe said “YES” to Shawn Booth, a 28 year old personal trainer from Nashville. Only in Hollywood would that seem like a catch (no offense to all the personal trainers out there, I just have absolutely no use for you). Now Kaitlyn, a dance instructor (is that a job?) and Shawn can start their lives together in his and hers Under Armor.

Seriously. My first thought when I saw that Shawn (who is very good looking) was a personal trainer was, “Does he get benefits? What about dental?”

If he’s smart, he’ll start his own fitness Instagram account and parlay this overnight fame into some $$$.

I’m always interested in post-Bachelor/Bachelorette life; probably because it shows the worst of humanity. People get a taste of fame, then all of a sudden quit their jobs, or whatever they passed as a job for the show (re: dog walker, free spirit), and begin to feed into the Instagram machine with sponsored posts and guest appearances at night clubs.

Methinks Kaitlyn’s been through the ringer. She deserves a little R & R, paid for by ABC, on a remote island with her beloved fitness professional.

Whether Kaitlyn and Shawn stand the test of time is anyone’s guess. In Bachelor Nation anything longer than 6 months is considered a success. I’m just glad we can stop talking about this batch of contestants and start fresh…with a whole new season of Bachelor in Paradise premiering August 2nd.

Huzzah!

Desperation, sand and alcohol! Get your cameras rolling!

If I seem a little snarky today, I apologize. I’m still not feeling like myself and would much rather be wearing elastic waist pants in bed burrowed under a duvet fort, listening to Michael Bolton songs than showered, dressed and part of the real world.

I hope I feel like myself soon, but until then… I’ll eat my feelings and harass my friends with text messages and phone calls to combat my loneliness.

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Mother of Dragons Award / Dragons Loyalty Award (same difference)

What a week.

This week has been particularly tough for me personally. I’m sure I’ll be ready to talk about it eventually, but not just yet. It’s been a week of splits: Miranda and Blake. Katy and John (again and again) and unfortunately, my own relationship. I’ve been in a funk, but my girlfriends have been rallying around me to keep me busy and full of peanut M&M’s. Not sure what will happen next, but I’m optimistic/hopeful things get better. Who knows. Maybe we’ll be fine by the time you read this. I don’t know.

I did wake up to a pleasant surprise by one of my internet besties, the Finicky Cynic, who nominated me for the Dragon’s Loyalty Award.

This is a chance to get to know each other better, introduce one another to new blogs we love and basically give someone a pat on the back for their blogging endeavors.

Blogging is easy in practice, but can be really tough to sustain. There’s always that line of not knowing what  is considered “TMI” worried your Mom’s friend or like, your cousin you don’t really talk to will read your work and then spread rumors around the family about  your mental state. It’s hard to come up with new material, to not get discouraged when it seems like nobody cares, and oh ya – MAKE TIME to blog!

I’m grateful to the WordPress blogging community who’ve become friends of mine and encourage me to continue blogging. It’s almost been a year since I started Honestly, Libby and I still can’t believe I’ve kept up with blogging or said half the shit I’ve said online.

Yay.

So here’s how this thing here works…

Put the award’s logo on your post.

  • Thank the person who nominated you and put a link to their blog.
  • Nominate 15 other bloggers.
  • Let your nominees know you have nominated them.
  • Post 7 facts about yourself.
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This isn’t the logo of the award…but it effin should have been

To the Finicky Cynic – whose real name I don’t even know, but have affectionately referred to as Finicky to all of my friends:

Thank you for the recognition. I appreciate your constant blogging friendship with me, and it pushes me forward to be creative, honest and share myself with people. I wish I had 1/10th of your writing talent, and am so excited for your next adventure… IN FRANCE!

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Part 2!

Man, I don’t even know if I know 15 people in my real life. These bloggers are my favourites, and the ones I relate to the most. Everyone should check them out, get to know them, and follow, follow, follow!

All Things Britney Lee

Rae of Sparkles

Hey Meghan…

Oh Hey, Kelly Kay!

Elizabeth Kara

Fit, Fat, Feminist

Diary of an Expat

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Seven facts about myself…

This is tough when you chronically overshare with the world on a daily basis, but I’m sure I can give you something. It might be slightly depressing, given my current state, but just wait because I’ll throw in something cute and uplifting at the end.

Let’s re-name this section: 7 random thoughts I’m having right now

1. I wonder how far I could make it if I cleared out my bank account, headed towards the US border and just decided to start a new life before anyone would notice. I’m about 45 minutes away from Buffalo…so, the best guess would be 45 minutes…but I feel like I could push it until like, at LEAST Ohio if I told people I was going for a nap (which lasts about six hours give or take) and just bounced.

2. What the f*ck is going on, Hollywood. Seriously. First Ben and Jen, now Blake and Miranda? Do people in the public eye not know that they have absolutely no right to a normal life and therefore have to live with the gaze of the entire world upon them, sacrificing their own happiness and wants for the good of the world? Seriously. Quit being so selfish.

3. Ugh. I don’t want to have to start shaving my legs again. Like, at all. So. Birth Control method found.

4. I wonder if anyone would notice if I just slowly faced in an accent into my life. I could blame it on a cool stroke or something. Like. All of a sudden I have a really cool South African accent. It could happen. People would now associate me as “that girl with that really cool accent from that unexpected stroke”

5. Summer. Amirite?

6. I want to re-watch The Hills and put mascara on and cry like Lauren Conrad. Maybe she’s available to talk me through this phase of life. She looks like she knows the worst/best things to say. Plus I think she would like, give me some kind of cookie infused with lavender as a comfort food. Which is not at all a comfort food. No matter what LC says.

7. Whatever.

Here’s something cute!

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A trainwreck watched Trainwreck and just saved herself $200 on therapy

I’ve been a fan of Amy Schumer’s stand-up and TV show for a few years. She’s honest, unfiltered and hilarious; three things I look for in a comic, male or female. I went to a matinee screening of Trainwreck this weekend with high expectations. Since laughter is the only way I ever exercise my abdominals, I was looking forward to walking out of the movie with a six-pack. I didn’t expect to almost break down into a guttural sob that I usually save for my therapist.

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Trainwreck is the “anti-romantic comedy” that still relies on the rom-com standards:

1. New York City

Schumer’s a New York native, so this is sort of a given, but I wish that just once a movie would be set in Kalamazoo or Kansas City or something.

2. Characters with cool, trendy, enviable careers

Schumer plays Amy Townsend,  a journalist for a men’s magazine called S’NUFF who falls in love with Aaron Conners, a sports medicine doc/surgeon for the Knicks played by Aaron Conners.

It’s just nice to see a white man in medicine, isn’t it? Even if it’s just on TV. I’ve been to the hospital many a time and I can assure you there are no cute, funny and  single doctors with names that are easy to pronounce. There are no McDreamy’s or no McNerdHot doctors in real life, only in Hollywood.

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Cheers to a wild Friday night! 

I wish I had the time to post a Friday Five because this week has been a busy one for me and the pop culture world, but I’m feeling a tad under the weather. 

For the past two weeks I’ve been dealing with gnarly chest pains and a super sexy cough. I thought it might be asthma (Hamilton is super smoggy) or pneumonia (because I’m a drama queen) so I finally went to the doctors today. 

Turns out, it’s an inflamed trachea/chest infection but my doc sent me to the hospital for some X-Rays and tests. There’s nothing fun about sitting alone in the hospital in a mask and gown. Loose boob and exposed bum ain’t cute!
I did however, have a funny interaction with a nurse, who prior to taking some blood samples asked me “if I was still fasting.” I was really confused until I remembered that today’s the last day of Ramadan, and that Muslims everywhere get to break fast.  

How I think I look

 I let out a really weird, wheezy giggle and then replied simply with a no. This happens all the time, a result of being ethnically ambiguous. I’ve had several situations like this where people have asked if the Canadian government paid for my tuition because of my Native status, if I could dance because I’m Hispanic or tell me that I’m “Pretty for an Iranian.” 

 

How I really look

 
 I’ve learned to laugh at it, and marvel at people’s inquisitiveness …that’s a nice way to put it. 

Now I’m at home, in bed with some books and my pup getting some much needed rest. 

Hope to be back in the blogging game on Monday! 

Enjoy your weekend! 

One Direction straight into parenthood

Oh lawd.

I can heard them now. Millions of teenage girls freaking out at the thought that their favourite ( but most likely fourth favourite) member of One Direction, Louis Tomlinson, becoming a father.

Louis, who to me has always been known as “the homeless looking one,” is apparently very excited at the idea of becoming a father with his friend (not girlfriend), Briana Jungwirth.

In what is possibly my favourite confirmation that accidents happen, a source close to Tomlinson says,

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Weekend Roundup – Vineyard Wedding edition

This weekend was a beautiful blur!

On Saturday, Matt’s older brother was married in what was quite possibly the prettiest wedding I’ve ever been to!  Mark and Kelly moved to Australia a few years ago, but decided to come back to Ontario to get married in Niagara on the Lake at the Riverbend Inn & Vineyard. It was a picturesque, movie material, magazine worthy wedding.

Since I’m a halfsie (Italian/Irish) most of the weddings I’ve been to, save for the weddings I’ve worked on, have been in banquet halls. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good banquet hall – you’ve got air conditioning, your hair doesn’t droop, your dress doesn’t stick to your ass that’s sweating profusely, it’s great; but it was nice to switch it up and experience a new venue!

Matt’s aunt, the talented Sheri Minardi, took some amazing snaps of the wedding.

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Here’s a pic I snapped for my friends of Matt’s boutonniere/bowtie/pocket square. The details for this wedding were unreal!

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Source: iPhone5

Bonus to having a photographer in the family? This faux engagement-like picture she took of me and my favourite groomsman!

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I had a last minute dress crisis the day before the wedding, and wound up running to Forever 21 and picking up this layered slip dress. Who knew it would match the sunset?

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Wedding season can be expensive for guests. So I was so happy to find an affordable dress and pair it with some nude heels I already had. Click here for similar.

In case you’re wondering… hair and lashes ain’t mine. Bellami Piccolina extensions in in off black and drugstore brand falsies.

BTW, I’m not a fashion blogger, and this is as close to fashion blog as I’ll ever get. I just wanted everyone to know my dress was cheap and that half of my look is fake fake fake!

Throwback Thursday: 90’s Heartthrob edition

Last Friday, after spending the evening with my nieces, I stayed up until two in the morning watching the Backstreet Boys documentary, Show ‘Em What You’re Made Of on Netflix.

The next day at a bridal shower, I decided to show my friends all the choreography to the BSB video for “As Long as You Love Me.”  This then prompted an hour long acapella jam session where my girlfriends and I spit out every BSB, Hanson, N*Sync, Spice Girls and Britney Spears song we could think of.

In honour of the Instagram ritual of #ThrowBackThursday, I present to you a post dedicated to the teen heartthrobs who made us weak in the knees.

*This list is an all blond zone. It’s basically an Aryan wet dream. If you’re looking for diversity, I hate to break it to you, but the 90’s was ruled by blond boys.

Let’s delve deep!

Devon Sawa & Jonathan Taylor Thomas – The Gateway Drugs

If you were a pre-teen/teenager during the 90’s, it was impossible to open a magazine (Tiger Beat was my fave) and not find a poster insert of either Devon Sawa or JTT.

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While there were the girls who only watched Home Improvement for the total of five minutes that shaggy haired Jonathan was on screen, I was Team Sawa.

My friends and I creepily paused the scene in Now & Then to when a naked Devon runs in front of the camera to retrieve his clothes after going skinny dipping. That scene single handedly taught me about the male anatomy, which should be troubling for you because that means I thought all male appendages were in proportion to a 14 year old male’s privates. The reality check I received years later was both pleasant, and then disheartening when I realized there were in fact, men who debunked and confirmed my early theory about the male reproductive system.

If you’re looking to relive your Devon Sawa and Jonathan Taylor Thomas days, check out  Casper, Little Giants, Man of the House, Now & Then and Wild America (bonus, Devon and JTT star in the movie!)

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The Bachelorette: Why I’m back to Team Nick

Oh, Bachelorette fans. We’ve been through the trenches. We’ve Instagram stalked, Twitter crept, and Facebook searched for our favourite contestants only to have 90% of Bachelor/Bachelorette relationships end within 6 months of the show finale.

We must be eternal optimists, because we keep being sucked back into the vortex of hot tubs, one on one dates and good looking gents and dames there “for the right reasons.”

Last night on the Bachelorette, Kaitlyn Bristowe spilled the beans about having sex with show alum Nick Viall to contestant Shawn Booth, the personal trainer/ Gosling wannabe with a voice that could impregnate and a penchant for bathroom breakdowns. Booth was so upset to hear Kaitlyn hooked up with Nick, he was overheard off camera saying, “I’m so tense, I cant even piss.” Booth played it cool, telling Kaitlyn he was upset but ultimately wants to be with her. Insiders say it took a while but he eventually calmed down enough to relieve himself.

I’ve always been on the fence with Nick Viall. During Andi’s season of the Bachelorette I thought he was charming although I wasn’t quite sure if his feelings were truly genuine. Nick always said the right things, placed his hands on the right spots (small of the back, upper thigh, cupped the face while he kissed) and had the “aw shucks” face down pat whenever he said something smooth. I wondered if Nick was just a smooth operator but then I realized he was one of about 30 kids, which means he has a lot of sisters and was probably exposed to romantic comedies at a very young age.

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It’s not uncommon for Bachelor alums to date one another, so I wasn’t TOO surprised when Nick made his appearance on this season of the Bachelorette, however returning to the reality TV world after taking such a public social media beating was a questionable move to me, and one that raised red flags. Our little Canadian Halfling ate up all of Nick’s moves and got cozy with the Chicago native before fantasy suites (whatever, no judgement).

Here’s why I’m back on Team Nick…

Nick handled his hook-up with Kaitlyn like a gentleman by not playing the kiss and tell game to any of the other contestants. He also seemed genuinely offended when Kaitlyn begged him not to tell anyone, which mmmmmmaaaaaybe isn’t the nicest thing to say to someone you just slept with but I doubt there’s a chapter on that in Emily Post’s guide to Reality TV.

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Lumberjack Six Pack, Booth was so threatened by Viall that he refused to even mention him by name, often referring to Nick as, “that other guy.” A little childish, yes. Especially when someone VOLUNTARILY SIGNS UP FOR A SHOW WHERE 25 GUYS DATE THE SAME WOMAN.  Shawn, aren’t there like, 20 TV’s at the gym? Are you telling me you’ve never seen an episode of the Bachelorette before?

Booth’s gone to that dark place where insecure people go where whenever they see the object of their insecurity/affection, they have the SAME conversation over and over again. Instead of having adorable little moments and finding out that they both really like The Goonies and Nutella sandwiches, Shawn is constantly asking if he’s the one. I don’t know how Kaitlyn puts up with it, because I would be duct taping his mouth shut and asking him to lift heavy objects instead.

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Timing, bro. Timing.

Shawn is hot. But whiney. and a little needy, but looks like he can fix something in the house if it breaks.

Nick is also hot. Less whiney, but looks like he would have the money to hire someone to fix something that breaks.

Where are you on the Shawn v. Nick debate?

Who do you think Kaitlyn will choose?