Game of Thrones and Outlander (because modernity is overrated)

I was creeping blogs today reading fan theories about Game of Thrones, and stumbled across a gem that made me laugh out loud with joy.

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Amazing, right?

Like most people, I watched the leaked episodes in one sitting so I’m biding my time with Outlander until episode 5 of this season finally airs.

I’m not even going to lie to you, I have zero interest in the Game of Thrones books. I don’t want to read them and have the series spoiled or be that person taking to Facebook saying, “Actually, according to the books…” No. Those people need to get out before they get a kick to the shins.

I won’t post any “spoilers” but I’m curious if y’all are loving the new season?

Here are my thoughts, since nobody asked:

1. Cersei is everything .

I could watch Lena Heady smell a fart and it would be Oscar worthy. I need more Jamie/Cersei naked wrestling, because unlike you literalists, they are just two beautiful actors who happen to play twins on television. I’m a OK with their incest.

2. Brienne of Tarth needs to be on my side in a bar fight

I dig her androgyny. She could be Draco Malfoy’s older, nicer, kick-ass sister. If shit got real, I would be yelling, “Brienne!” unapologetically.

3. I’m over Khaleesi

We get it. Next.

4. More Sansa & Littlefinger

This brings back Lolita plot lines for me. I’m all about this pairing. Even though he basically betrayed her father and had him killed…

5. Jon Snow needs to man up

Get the hell away from the wall and do something interesting, please. And stop looking like you’ve just been hit in the nads. It’s nota  cute look for you.

Ok – one last thing.

OUTLANDER!

Have you not seen this show? Do you not like Scottish men and sex in a meadow?

This show is about a woman in the 1940’s who travels back in time to the 18th century and falls in love with a highlander named Jamie.

A ginger mega-babe. Which basically doesn’t exist. Bitch found a unicorn.

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Last night’s episode was wonderfully entertaining and can be summed up 3 words: “flaccid turtleneck dink”

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I won’t spoil for you because it JUST aired, but man oh man. There was some great character development last night and even though I was up passed my bedtime, I didn’t want the episode to end. I can almost understand why women like 50 Shades of Grey, because this show is my equivalent  only there’s no BDSM and not at all based on Twilight fan fiction. WHICH MEANS IT’S SO MUCH BETTER THAN THAT.

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