What I Know For Sure

 Men will always be fascinated by a woman eating a banana.

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 There’s always going to be someone smarter than you, prettier than you or more successful than you. So find out who that person is and do one of two things:  Kick them in the box or make friends with them.

 You should never congratulate anyone on a pregnancy unless you are 1000% sure they are pregnant.

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The people who talk excessively about how great high school was are the people you want to avoid at all costs. Those people are living in the past, let them stay there.

 Asking another woman for a tampon is the easiest way to make a new friend.

 You are not your mistakes. You are your iTunes library: wonderfully eclectic with nothing to be ashamed of.

 You can’t fix stupid.

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 Followers aren’t friends, so stop worrying about the number of followers you have.

 Just because someone demands an explanation, you don’t have to give it – No, is a full sentence.

 Putting your best foot forward is overrated. Just put a foot forward, and if someone doesn’t like it, put your best middle finger in the air.

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