Inspired by my fitness minded friends and boyfriend, I’ve decided to take getting into shape seriously. Sort of seriously. Ok, I’m considering eating less cookies and moving more. That’s as serious as I can be right now.
My resolve to be fit began after my friend Sarah started hitting the gym before her honeymoon in Cabo. I should tell you now that Sarah used to model, so go ahead and start hating her. Since we talk about everything, she showed me her super-secret progress pictures and I had a come to Jesus moment where I thought, “Hey, maybe this here exercise thing the kids are talking about actually works!” Did you know the belly button can actually move up the stomach? Or at least get so toned it travels three inches north? I didn’t but totally played like I did when I saw her after pictures.
That night I went home and looked at my memory foam tummy. Minimal muscle definition with some give. Not too shabby for someone who eats a carb-centric diet and sits for 8 hours a day and then lays for another 16. I figured I could get in shape no problem.
The real problems began when I asked my manpanion to take “Before” photos for me. Tummy, profile shot, and behind.
I’m not exaggerating when I say I started hyperventilating when faced with my own booty dimples. My behind looks like the old woman from Titanic’s face. Sad, contemplative, old as shit.
“It’s the lighting in here,” Matt said trying to comfort me. “It’s bad lighting.”
I immediately felt horrible that this poor wonderful guy was stuck dating Miss Cottage Cheese 2015.
I wallowed for about twenty minutes. Thought about where the Duggar’s purchase their Modesty Wear. Thought about just being the girl who always wears pants and says it’s some ode to Katherine Hepburn. I googled celebrities with cellulite, I googled celebrities without cellulite. Then I decided there was only one thing to do: start moving.
The goal: Lose 10 lbs by June
How will I do that?
Cut out sweets and carbs
No crash diets/no fads
Today is day 1.