Golden Globes – Best & Worst Dressed

I’m a simple girl.

I have simple tastes.

Most of my meals involve ketchup and I buy lots of Covergirl products.

But I feel as though it’s my responsibility as a woman with two working eyes to judge those who dare put their profession and personal life in the spotlight.

So let’s get this bitch movin’

WORST Dressed:

Girl, you tried it. You’re too old for this look J.Lo and you know it. There’s going to be a lot of people on Instagram saying her look was flawless, but I’m here to tell you otherwise. Her look had one flaw: It was desperate.

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Honorable mention for worst dressed:

Lana Del Ray.

You look like you need a can of Red Bull, a time machine and a shower. Try again.

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BEST DRESSED!

I don’t pray often, but when I do it’s either me hoping that I get my period or that I can age flawlessly. Last night I said a little prayer to Oprah and asked her to tell me Julianne Moore’s aging secrets, because this woman is the definition of beauty.

She showed up to win.

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Honorable mentions:

Emma Stone and her pantsuit.I like the fact that if there was a fire, she could sprint out of there or you know, get drunk and do a cartwheel. I salute you, Emma.

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13 comments

  1. For Lana this issue is firstly the color, because it is just too bright and metallic for her and secondly the weird bow. I live by the rule ‘A bow per year is a bow to many’

    Like

  2. http://perezhilton.com/cocoperez/2015-01-14-jennifer-lopez-david-koma-boy-next-door-miami-screening
    A) This link proves you’re right, Perez isn’t
    B) That’s probably one of the biggest compliments I’ve ever given anyone
    C) I’m now going back to work, pretending to do something intelligent while not discussing Jlo’s desperate wardrobe choices (or poor weave & bad make-up artist choices while we’re at it) although I feel like the latter is way more important.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love you.

      and i will print this comment and keep it at my desk as a personal validation.

      She’s gotta let go of the oversexed thing. Mix it up. You know why she makes shitty movies? BECAUSE SHE LOOKS LIKE A PORNSTAR

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hahahaha!! That is a brilliant theory on Jlo if I ever heard one!
        PS: I can never read your blog or comments again during working hours because I just had to explain to my coworkers why I was laughing/snorting like an idiot (I’m working on a very serious, sad topic) without including the words Jlo or pornstar and I utterly failed at that.

        Like

      2. Lol that’s too funny.
        Btw your blog posts aren’t incoherent. They make complete sense to me. Which means we’re spirit animals and normal and everyone else is fucked

        Like

      3. God woman you’re good at developing theories I like! Normally I would say that it such a good theory we need to skip work this afternoon and go drink bubbles somewhere to discuss how everybody else is fucked some more. But, seeing the minor inconvenience of oceans in between and timedifferences (do canadians even drink before noon?) that’s a bit difficult so I’ll just put the virtual invite out there 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

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