Oprah and Aslan

I’ve always maintained that to me, Oprah is the closest thing to a deity that I worship.

A lot of my friends laugh at me when I say this, but the truth is I’m like, 98% serious that she’s the closet thing I have to a mystic/prophet/teacher/spirit guide.

It just seems like she gives good hugs. When I hit rock bottom (I don’t know if I’ve hit it yet, but I’m sure it’s coming) I expect Oprah to magically appear, take the syringe filled with Diet Pepsi from my hands, lift me off of my throne made of garbage bags and give me a giant hug and whisper something about the order of the universe that will magically  make everything better.

I have a whole theology about celebrities that I carefully constructed one day during lecture in university (Religious Studies majors ftw!) but here’s proof Oprah might be godlike:

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Aslan, man. ASLAN.

For those of you who have no idea what I’m talking about, Aslan is a character from the Chronicles of Narnia, a series by Christian author C.S Lewis that was commonly believed to be based on Jesus.

I’m no expert but… I mean, this is some Illuminati type stuff.

I know I’m slightly crazy, but come on. In my mind this is all pieces of the universe puzzle falling into place.

*This is terrible photoshop

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