The struggle to stay relevant Hollywood. *Sigh* It’s almost like my daily struggle to avoid carbs. I try and I try but just like former child stars trying to revive their careers, I fail. I fail miserably.
The latest in face-palm worthiness is Nick Jonas, the youngest of the three ‘purity ring’ trio the Jonas Brothers. The JoBro’s career has slowed down a fair bit. Ok, a lot but I was just being nice. With Kevin being a family man and Joe busy growing eyebrows it’s up to little Nick to make music and make red carpet appearances. And good on ya, mate! Make money.
But then these happened….
Here’s what went through my mind when I saw these photos of Nick Jonas for Flaunt Magazine:
1. Oh, my…
2. Pull your damn pants up
3. Wash your hands, young man!
We get it. You’re fit, but boy oh boy do you have much to learn.
Maybe it’s just me, but after the initial shock of ‘you’re touching yourself’ wears off, I don’t find anything about these photos sexy or attractive. I get what Jonas is trying to do by breaking out of the squeaky clean virgin image of his past by doing his best Marky Mark impression, but Son, let me tell you what really preheat’s women’s lady ovens:
I love a man in a good suit. My ultimate turn on (and it sounds so strange) is when you see men unbutton their coat jacket before they sit down. Then they stand back up and button it back up. I’m not lying, my knees go weak. Which is probably why I only watch late night television (Fallon, Kimmel and Conan) in the privacy of my own home (so many feelings!)
Women like a man in a suit because it says, “Look, I can afford a nice suit. I can afford dinner while wearing this suit. Would you like to go to dinner with me while I wear this nice suit?”
2. Posing with your Dog
Women love dogs. Women love men posing with dogs. It says, “Hey, look at me posing with this dog. Don’t you think I look like I could maybe be posing with our baby? Would you like to make a baby?”
As much as I’m a sucker for a man in a suit, I’ve got to admit you can’t go wrong with a hot guy in a t-shirt. Notice the trend here, Jonas? (It’s clothing! The trend is clothing!)
Like I said, maybe it’s just me and but I just don’t appreciate in your face abs and skin. I’m more of the opinion that mystery is sexy, actions are sexy, not touching your crotch in public – that’s sexy too.
What do y’all think?
Am I too prudish?