George & Amal : Wedding bells that send commitment-phobes everywhere looking for a new hero

I used to call this section: Pop culture crap I would normally text my friends about, but I’m revamping the title to mix it up.

Yes, George Clooney is a married man. While I would normally go ape over crap like this, I’m just not feeling the same secondhand high I would normally get from a celebrity wedding!

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Source: Just Jared

Look, I love George. He’s hella handsome and part of me likes the fact that whenever I look at him I imagine him close mouthed kissing me like an old timey Hollywood film star. I’m really happy that he married someone who looks like she can give him a run for his money and put him in place. If you’re like me and watch too many romantic comedies you’ll know what I mean when I say she’s the exception to the rule (He’s Just Not That Into You). George swore up and down he’d never get married again. Then bam! Here comes a woman with hair that could rival Kate Middleton and he puts a ring on it. If you listen quietly you can hear women stuck in unhealthy relationships with commitment-phobes thinking,”If Clooney married, he’ll marry me!”

Wrong.

To those ladies I say, “Move on. You ain’t Amal.”

George and Amal look like they’re just a couple of normal, rich, incredibly good looking people. I’m sure neither one of them have a mental illness or burgeoning drug problem, therefore I just look at their cover of People magazine and think, “Nice” and continue looking for more info on Amanda Bynes’ DUI.

Congrats, George and Amal. I wish you an infinite amount of photo-ops where your good looks and love can shine as bright as the sun!

Ladies and Gents,

In case you’re looking for a new commitment-phobe idol here are some new heroes for you to consider

Cameron Diaz

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Cammy doesn’t want to marry or have babies! She’s dated some of Hollywood’s hottest men. She’s officially my pick as the next Clooney.

John Stamos

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Have mercy! I think women (and men) everywhere harbor a secret desire to be near this Greek god- even if it is a little creepy he likes Disney Land so much.

Leonardo DiCaprio  

Golden-Globes-2014-Leonardo-DiCaprio

When Leo meets his Amal, it’s going to be GAME OVER! Until then, he’ll keep dating every blonde Victorias Secret model in sight

clooney

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6 comments

  1. I normally could care less for celebrity nuptials, or engagements. It’s not like I’m invited to the wedding, so why would I care?! My motto is, unless your Brangelina, I could care less about your ‘celebrity marriage or divorce.’ That being said, I think George’s ‘I Do’ is kind of significant in that he married a woman with HER OWN career + MONAYYYYYYYYYYYYY + most importantly she’s not pregnant (yet). With the recent spate of underwhelming celebrity divorces making news, George makes more noise for the ‘sanctity’ of marriage with his recent plunge than any of the other celebs can make for the case for divorce. After all the years he swore he would never do it again, its nice to see that love is still a possibility in Hollyweird.

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    1. Do you think they’re going to have babies?! I’ve been having this convo with some friends. Some say yes some say no!

      I’m hoping they don’t divorce… Because then we’ll have to deal with all those magazine covers… And id rather look at wedding dresses and celebrity weight gain!

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  2. Love me some George; a little bit jealous of Amal, but like every middle-aged woman with a People or US clutched in their claws, I thought I’d be the one to change him 😦 kidding . . . juuuust kidding.

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